“Hi Derek. I haven’t checked my email for several weeks and I have a question for you. As of late, I have transcended my personal approach anxiety. I’m 31, after all, so I figured it was time to. However, I now have a huge problem: how can I transcend my shark vibe or neediness? I have come to notice that whenever I approach someone I am interested in, she instantly talks to someone else. It’s usually always the same. Every time I’m with a friend and approach a woman, she wants to talk to him instead of to me. I think this may have something to do with my neediness or because he’s funnier in conversation. Please, if this is an interesting problem, answer this email in your next pack. I humbly think that a lot of people are going through the same thing, while others might not even realize there’s an unconscious problem there.” – Duane G. from Greenbelt, MD
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
She might be talking to your friend because of his sense of humor, but she might also be talking to him because you are too needy. You won’t know until you ask. But if you ask, you could lose her. So, instead, concentrate on these two things:
1. Be dominant. I have mentioned this tons above, so read this entire answer. And if you are dominant enough…
2. Here is how you can get rid of that neediness. First and foremost, let’s talk about what neediness actually is. Neediness occurs whenever a woman can tell that you want something out of her. This kind of desperation reeks from salesmen who want to sell you things during the day. In a nutshell, it makes people uncomfortable and is off-putting, in general. So, how can you eliminate it? It’s easy:
Stop concentrating on getting her into bed. Instead, concentrate on ways in which to contribute to her, as well, as how you can help with her sexual feelings. Simply reframe several things inside your head:
You have to realize how much women actually love sex. As a matter of fact, a female orgasm is more satisfying for women than a whole lifetime of sex is for men. So, whenever you have sex, she isn’t presenting you with a gift. It doesn’t cost anything to her because she enjoys it. Tons.
Keep in mind that sex is merely a rare moment wherein two people meet up and both leave much happier than as they were on their own.
You also have to keep in mind that whether you have sex with her tonight doesn’t matter since, the moment you click, you can get her number and take her out on a date. Eventually, you will have sex.
Also keep in mind that there are many other fish in the sea. So, if you get blown off, who gives a crap? Go meet someone else you can get along with better.
Remember all of these things whenever you go out and you will get rid of that neediness in no time. 🙂