“I have approached women older than me before and they have said several things to me like ‘You’re young enough to be my son’; ‘I have a little brother your age’; or ‘You’re, like, 12’. I have heard that you have a trainer my age, so I was hoping you could offer up some advice on the subject. I know it may be strange that I want to do this but I happen to find girls younger than me too immature.” – James B. from Maitland, FL

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

In short, the way to succeed at dating older women would be by treating them the same way you do younger women.

For a longer answer, an older women will be far more interested in how dominant you are than younger women ever will be. Since older women feel like they have more experience in life compared to you and because they think you’re not that great of a catch, you need to counteract them by being extremely dominant.

Let her know you don’t care about age, but if she simply cannot deal with it – or she thinks you’ll be too much to handle – then understand her point of view and be alright with it.

Simply do not react or get phased by how old she is. You should know that she will bring it up, though, so don’t be surprised. There is no way you can get older by a few years in a day, so know that there is nothing else you can do. Provided you refuse to react through your emotions, you should be alright.

“I have never tried gaming girls online before, but I would like to learn how to get this done.” – Cameron B. from Belleville, ON

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

There are lots of factors in play when it comes to online gaming. As a matter of fact, I have been designing his very own system for several years now and he is amazing when it comes down to it.

I’m actually quite great at it myself, most of all nowadays where designing and writing these emails have been taking up most of my time.

This is why I use plentyoffish.com more frequently now. I can’t really get to all of the details of it right now. However, I can share the ideal first message with you:

Don’t copy this word for word, though, or you might lose some power in the process. You’re about to see why in a bit.

1. Let her know that you have read her entire profile and that you find her pictures cute. Make sure you use “cute” because it is the most intriguing word to use in this case.

2. Mention something that you found interesting in her profile. Make sure you quote things, too; this means pasting several lines taken from her profile onto your message. This works because nobody really does it and she will be complimented that you did.

3. Tell her you want to chat with her sometime. This won’t put too much pressure on her, so she is sure to reply to your message afterwards.

If you do these things, you will find yourself miles ahead of the other men out there who are also trying their luck at online dating today.

“I see her at the bar, but I meet up with some people first before going up to her. Then a guy shows up and hugs her from the back and she introduces him to me as a ‘great friend’. She gives him a drink and they kiss in front of me. This goes on all night.

It ended up totally screwing with my head, but I held on to my composure and pretended everything was fine. I stayed at that bar the whole night meeting new people, dancing with several girls and socializing with both of our friends. After I got home, though, I couldn’t fathom what had just happened. Had I completely misjudged the situation? Was she not interested in me at all? I have no idea what happened.

The following week, I saw her at the gym with him. We said hi to each other, but she acted all weird after that. When I was about to leave, she was at the exit but I just walked by her (this has nothing to do with her making out with the guy but more because she was acting weird earlier on and I didn’t really want to appear like a total stalker).

I saw her at the gym again the next day – alone this time. I waved from afar but didn’t bother to approach her until she left. I saw her there again after that and we made some small talk before I worked out – nothing more. What in the world is going on?” – Albert H. from Phoenix, AZ

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

I know there was much more to that situation and I read all of it – just so you know – but I’m only including the things above as a summary of what you’re going through.

Listen: she may be with another guy now, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that she never liked you. It simply means that he got her into bed first.

In plain English, single girls usually date several guys at a time. Or they at least have a ton of male friends who want them. This is where you come in. Something funny tends to happen after that, though. The first one who gets the girl into bed will be the one she officially dates.

I have no idea how or why this happens, but if you are interested in a girl who is currently dating around, you should make it a point to be the first one to get her into bed. To do this, pump up some sexual tension with awesome logistics.

Although you were flirting perfectly, you didn’t make the right moves. (I think you noticed this because you waited to meet up with her three times before getting her number.)

Also, if you are seeing a girl who is, in turn, seeing multiple guys, get ready to face the competition. (Fortunately, I’m on your side, so the competition is pretty much fucked. Ha ha.)

“I have no trouble whatsoever admitting that I can succeed with my good looks alone, but I want to quit depending on my looks to win a girl over. After I open up, I know that I need to keep going – which is what my biggest problem is. Sometimes, I am capable of going on because of the girl’s energy, but if she isn’t energetic enough, I find myself facing a stone wall. Do you have any answers or suggestions for me? That would be great.” – Monty G. from Walpole, MA

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

What’s wrong with putting your looks to good use? They were given to you as a gift; you might as well use them.

As for the “stone wall”, I’m guessing you are simply lacking in the conversational department. Fortunately, there is an easy fix for this:

Simply put threading to use. For instance, if a girl is talking about how her grandfather grows apples, you should follow up what she says with something about apples or your own grandfather. That’s how easy conversation actually is.

Naturally, many more advanced hints and tricks exist out there, but these are the most basic ones that will help you a lot in overcoming that “stone wall” feeling of yours.

“I have some more questions here and I would be very appreciative if you could answer teem for me. I have attempted to keep a more dominant focus, like you suggested, but this battle has been going strictly uphill. It works for a bit, but once I trigger something, such as a bad look, or a hesitance in approaching a woman, it gets very hard for me to get out of it. It’s almost like the focus can’t match my stuck state.

I think I could really use some help in finding out more about this ‘dominant focus’ overall. So, if I want to have a relaxed and entertained focus, are there any particular mental steps I have to take? Are there any particular exercises I can do before going out, for example, or is there a certain mantra or script I should keep in mind? Most importantly, how can I recover when something affects my emotions negatively?” – Travis C. from Croki, NSW 

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

This problem happens to be a very common one. As the saying goes, “old dogs can’t me taught new tricks”. They say this because once a bad habit is formed, it becomes hard to break that particular habit. And, well, the way you think actually is a type of mental habit.

So, whenever you change your way of thinking, you try to do something similar to giving up smoking This means that you will probably screw up every now and then.

So, what you have to do is catch yourself whenever you feel down, then instantly do whatever you can to get your dominant focus back.

Think: “No. I am very dominant. I just had a horrible mental habit that I am now letting go to get back to my real dominant self.” Since this statement is rational, your brain will end up holding onto it and your logic will, in turn, accept it. All of this will help you ease into the transition back to your dominant focus.

There’s no need to worry, either. It won’t take too long to get rid of the habit. And, the minute you do, you will see it was well worth every struggle.

“I have already read the Dark Rake Method; that was some great stuff. I definitely internalized a lot of the thoughts in there. Anyway, I have some scholarly questions, so to speak. Simply put, I am 20 years old, go to college and I want my 23-year-old professor.” – Joey A. from Bowbells, ND

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

Are you sure about this? Remember: she could seriously get into trouble at your college if anybody were to find out about this. Here are several tips anyway:

First of all, get her out of that school and classroom setting and into a completely different one because the power balance will be very skewed over there. Plus, that environment is strictly professional. None of those things will help you escalate. Since you are almost of the same age, you can ask her out for some coffee instead.

Secondly, be extremely sure that she knows you won’t kiss and tell. Try not to be too obvious about this, though. Just tell stories about other “disgusting guys who kiss and tell”. She needs to know that you keep relationship things strictly confidential. This should be enough to help her figure out your intentions for herself.

“I like this friend of a friend who’s a model, but I don’t have a car, a job or money; I live in a dinky apartment; and I’m not even studying just yet (though hopefully will be in the following semester). This is why I have trouble talking to her a lot of the time. I kind of feel like she should be with somebody else rather than with me and it’s frustrating.

I know that a lot of regular guys sleep with high echelon chicks out there, but I always end up comparing myself to people I know who have cars and money and shit.” – Luis S. from Hemlock, NY

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

I‘m sure you have already heard the whole “confidence will get you everywhere” spiel a lot and I’m sure that hasn’t help you a bit. So, here are the basics:

Guys fall for girls who are hot. But, conversely, girls fall for guys who have a high degree of status and dominance. Now, although you might not have any status or looks, you can sure as hell be as dominant as you want to be.

Now, when it comes to confidence with women, just keep in mind that a ton of gorgeous girls out there today are dating ugly guys – you must have noticed this several times. If those guys happened to be rich, kudos to them. But I’m willing to bet they were more dominant than anything else.

So, be a leader. Take full control. Make every decision whenever she’s around. Be warm, protective and dominant, and you will never have to worry about anything more because she will definitely find you attractive by then.

“Do you have any advice for someone who only wants to get into a relationship for the long term? I have no intentions of meeting a woman to sleep with her within a week or a month. I seriously just want a serious relationship where sex doesn’t come up until we know one another very well.” – Douglas T. from St Petersburg, FL

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

You aren’t the only one with this particular focus; a lot of other men have it, too. But if this is starting to hurt you, you should know that just because a woman has sex with you quickly doesn’t necessarily mean that she isn’t girlfriend material.

As a matter of fact, my most passionate and greatest relationships were with girls whom I had slept with quickly. I would even go so far as to recommend sleeping with a girl as fast as possible f you want a relationship that will last for the long term.

There are many reasons behind this, but they can be summarized into this: an ultra strong bond will be formed with her and she will feel extreme passion for you. Plus, she will end up being much more loyal for years to come.

So, if you are hoping to find a great girlfriend, sleep with her – fast.

“I find myself getting tired of games and even women. Now, don’t take this the wrong way: I have no interest in switching teams. I think it just has something to do with the women that I meet, really.

But what else can I do if I’ve lost interest in the games and if I only want to have sex with women? What can I do if a couple of hours is becoming too long to listen to their nonsense in order to get them into bed? Plus, these women generally hardly do anything anymore when we do end up making out or having sex.” – Donald M. from Grand Rapids, MI

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

Truthfully, you sound jaded because of your lack of success in the female department. I’m not trying to insult you or anything; I’ve been through it, too. This usually happens if you’re going through a bad breakup or a low streak.

Unfortunately, I can’t give you a step-by-step guide on overcoming this phase since time is really the only thing that will cure it. But I can teach you how to ignite more passion in women overall.

This technique comes in the form of three basic steps:

1. Take note of something that you can call “passionate”. For example, if she talks to her friends excitedly or touches you.

2. Point this passionate thing out to her.

3. Mention how much you like that she’s passionate. Then say something like: “I love that you’re so passionate when it comes to your friends. You actually seem to be a very passionate person overall. That’s great.”

By doing this, you can ignite more passion out of her. This works every single time – believe it.

“I don’t know why but something doesn’t feel right whenever I try to hold a girl’s hand. I feel like I’ll get rejected – that she’ll drop my hand if I make my move or some shit.” – Bert P. from Whitestone, NY

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

Looks like we have the same history. You know how my techniques work and you know how you can meet women. Your email is mere proof that meeting these women truly is about mind over matter. As a matter of fact, I’m willing to bet that you can be completely unstoppable after you pass by this particular roadblock. Here’s what you should do:

When crossing the road, take her hand and protect her through traffic by leading her through it. The first two times you do this, drop her hand afterwards, but after the third time, don’t let go of her hand.

This always works; it’s like magic. I’m looking forward to hearing another story of success from you. 🙂