“I am honestly not horrible with women, but I do want a relationship. I like this girl called Belle and she likes me, too, but a few weeks ago, a guy dumped her. I didn’t take advantage of her after that. I decided to be her friend. The thing is: she’s got a best friend who’s an orbiter and they’ve been friends since they were in pre-school. So, since he’s permanently stuck as a friend, he hates all the other guys who like Belle by default.
My frustration right now is that she wants to take some time to get to know me better before dating me. So, my question is: what am I supposed to do? Should I give her that upper hand while trying to meet a ton of other women, or should I just completely forget about her and see her as nothing but as a friend?” – Charles D. from Hollywood, FL
Derek Rake’s Answer:-
Become the friend of that guy that hates everybody else. There is no way anyone can hate people that are cool to them. So, if you’re nice, chances are, he’ll be nice in return.
To be honest, that guy is nothing to be worried about, though. If he really hates all of the guys she dates, he’ll end up hating you, no matter what you do. And she’ll factor him out if she dates you. She’ll think “He’s always like this, so whatever.” So… whatever. 🙂
Now to your question. She probably isn’t comfortable with the speed that you’re working at right now. A date might be a huge thing for her. So try to hang out more and physically escalate things whenever you can instead. You will eventually have sex and date.
However, do let the dates evolve organically. This means: do not force things or put labels on things too soon. This will make her more comfortable with you and you will end up getting all the dating benefits without any of the stress or hassle of real dates.
As for your two options, you’re assuming far too much. There is no upper hand nor a need to stay mere friends with her. Read that answer I gave about emotional flexibility to a guy up there. It is sure to help you lots right about now.