“Hey Derek, I want to share my extreme frustration here. I don’t know which advice to trust and which not to anymore. A lot of the things you say makes so much sense to me, but I sometimes feel like you’re just another online marketer trying to sell his product.

From what I have read from you so far, I think you teach the truth, but I also think you’re guilty of following some questionable practices of marketing and because of this, I’m getting reluctant at buying your products now. I have already bought some of them and succeeded with them, too. But I still haven’t reached the success level that I want. In fact, I’m not even near it. I still work very hard to leave my psychological prison and still have to find abundance and happiness somewhere.” – Wiley R. from Franklin, MA

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

Well, well, I guess you caught me. I earn my living this way. I sell seminars and products that show men how they can succeed with women and I give advice out like this particular email free of charge. I also provide refunds to those who think they are incapable of reaching the success levels that they truly want to with women.

I spend a lot of time – most of which I would otherwise spend on a regular 9-5 job – working on brand new ways on how to meet women successfully. And a lot of the time, I wake up at 3 in the morning to improve them. Use them. Test them. Try them.

So yes, you caught me. What I do is teach men to get better around women. Don’t trust me yet? Still want to trust other guys instead? Why don’t you actually use the crap that I teach in these emails? Once they start working for you, you can start trusting me the way you want to.

But if they don’t work out for you, then, hey, perhaps my stuff just doesn’t work out for you. Still, try it anyway.

This leads me to the actual meat in your question: why aren’t you succeeding with women more? Easy: because you have trapped yourself inside a mental prison, just like you said. This has nothing to do with the tactics that you learned and whether they work or not. It simply means you refuse to try them.

So, to be honest, I pity you because I want things to get better for you. Heck, I bust my own ass by the day to help you out. Please take my stuff and use it. Get out of that prison of yours with the tactics that I teach in my programs. I’m not claiming that they’re miracle pills or anything, but if you have no will to approach women, nobody will be able to help you out. That’s all.

“For a few weeks now, I have wondered whether girls simply do not like me or if they are intimidated or scared of me. Either way, I’m going nuts, man. Whenever I talk to one, we eventually enter this stage of awkward silence and I ask why she suddenly stopped talking.

Usually, they say I’m too intimidating. I think that’s completely bull shit, but I don’t know anymore, man.

I have decent looks, I played football in college, I’m in shape – I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been reading your work and you’ve got some great shit, Derek. I can’t even disagree with any of it.

So, if you get this email, send me some advice, man. I would love to know what the hell I’m messing up here.” – Lee G. from Long Beach , CA

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

I bet you have no problem with dominance. Since you played college football, I can bet you’re in good shape, too. Plus, you admit you look good. So some things are going well with you. You even have social status. So, you should be able to see why women find you intimidating. You have the looks + the body + status = intimidating. The math is that easy. 😉 What you seem to be missing is quite simple: warm dominance.

In a nutshell, you have to be friendlier, so women will feel less intimidated, if at all. After all, women need to feel trust and attraction before they can fall for you.

If you are intimidating, that means you are lacking in the trust department. To earn some trust, be playful, nice, protective and funny.

I have a friend called Reggie who is quite big and who women find intimidating – until he talks to them, that is. See, Reggie has this deep, soothing and low voice and he’s protective and quiet, too. Yes, he could definitely start some trouble with any guy if he wanted to, but he never does. He makes women feel at home.

So, try to change your overall energy.

If you don’t know what I mean, let me put it this way:

Don’t just seduce her in an animalistic manner, arouse her like the wind. Be protective, gentle and loving. This will make that intimidating trait of yours go away. 🙂

“I have finally read your whole Rake Letter. I appear to be too busy sometimes that I forget to set time aside to read these things. I’m happy that I did this time, though, as I now feel like I go into that friend zone too fast. When I go downtown and see gorgeous women, my approach skills seem to be weak. I wouldn’t say I’m horrible-looking. I actually think I could get some pretty women to fall for me, but I never know what to say when approaching them. Sometimes, I get so caught up in how pretty they are. See, I have no trouble talking to average-looking chicks. I just get a mental block because of fear of rejection. Three years ago, I was quite fat and unpopular – does that have something to do with it? I’m not sure why I’m so scared of rejection, though. Heck, I should know all about it. I’m not really worried about taking girls home, but I do want to talk to somebody and go on dates every now and then. If you can help me get rid of this block, I will be forever grateful.” – Kenneth B. from Las Vegas, NV

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

Boy, I completely agree with you. Looking for a few hours to put this particular email together was pretty hard, I must admit. But it is well worth it. That, in itself, is a lesson to be learned: if something is doing you good, find time for it. It can be something like asking a simple question, reading a long email or talking to a gorgeous woman.

Now, it seems that you are anxious because of a poor self-image – a completely different subject.

As for the things to say, this is the easy part. As a matter of fact, you simply have to say: “I saw you there and you really carry yourself well. You appear to be extremely confident and very open to getting to know new people.” Then begin talking about anything else. She’ll love it – trust me. 🙂

“Hi Derek. I’m an 19-year-old who totally worships every single word that you say. 😉 Call me Ryan. Anyway, my problem is: my game is great but I constantly feel like something is blocking my way to huge success. I have no idea if it has something to do with my tactics or my mindset, but I sometimes feel confused and even lost between my two worlds: the regular world and the attraction world. My question is: what can you suggest for me to turn everything around and completely enjoy and trust the attraction world that I have learned from you?” – Carlos A. from Indianapolis, IN

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

Whoa. Worship is a really strong world. I would prefer it if you used… well… I like it, to be honest. (Everybody can get a little egotistical every once in a while, right? 😉

As for the question, I know what you mean. I have felt that way before. I knew that I could meet any woman I wanted without putting much work or effort in anymore, but a part of me still didn’t perceive it as real.

The old loser inside of me needed it to be right and to be hard. My family was very religious and I think this entire struggling mentality to succeed stems from that. There is only one thing you have to understand, though:

Doing the right thing is usually the easiest thing to do. See, if both ways work – with one being easy and the other being hard – wouldn’t you go for the easy way? That way, you’ll get more things done and have a lot more fun in the process. Why, you’ll even be able to help other people if you want.

This is why I always try to get a lot of people to read my emails as I can. That way, I can help a lot of men and give them new leases on their dating lives all at the same time. This would me much more difficult if I had to write personal emails and look for you every time I wanted to tell you something.

Plus, the easier way of sending hundreds of questions with complete answers at once simply works much better. The same goes for meeting women.

Think about it: when meeting and dating a girl, would it really matter whether you felt calm or anxious at the time of your meeting? As more time goes by, this won’t matter at all.

So, just go out with this great girl and do things the easy way, so you won’t have any regrets in the long run.

(Keeping this in mind will free it up. Give it several weeks of experience before it truly sinks in and you will be completely amazed at the results. 🙂

“I have an objective – to have sex with at least three girls every week. Unfortunately, girls in Mexico – where I live – aren’t very open-minded, so how can I make things easier for me?” – Scott B. from Beaumont, TX

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

Wow. You pretty much summed up every man’s dream in a single sentence! Well, I have two answers, both of which require you to know that wherever you are, whatever language you can speak and regardless of how tall or short or skinny or fat or sexy a girl is, it doesn’t matter.

Women of every place in the world like dominance, sexual tension and intrigue. Although your specific tactics might vary, the principles will always remain the same. So:

1. Talk to more than fifteen women every day and get great at setting up dates with low pressure. Three women a week isn’t exactly ambitious, but unless you actively talk to more women than that, it isn’t going to happen. Some women won’t be available during the week or will want to see you again after having sex with you. So, if you talk to more women, you will sleep with more, too. Also, the better you become with them, the more times you will sleep with girls you just met.

2. Escorts. Excuse me? Well, you asked about sleeping with more then three women a week. You never mentioned doing it for free. 😉 Fine, fine. If you don’t condone this, stick to 1. It works anyway.

“I’m not quite sure how I should say this. I’m hot and I’m currently living in London and hoping to become an actor. However, every girl I like ends up rejecting me. I’m not awkward or shy, either. I’m warm, confident, funny, down-to-earth and sexual. I always get confused whenever I try to find out what’s wrong with me. I’m extremely lonely, so I don’t know who else to vent to. I’m sorry if this sounds useless and miserable, but you suggested a quick mail, so here it is. Another thing is that I don’t want girls to pick me. I want to pick who to be with. I want to take charge of my own actions.” – Steven H. from San Diego, CA

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

Wow. You sure have a huge problem over there. Hot? Confident? Actor? Damn, dude, I wish your problems were mine. 😉

Kidding aside, your situation really is tough. As I read your email, I didn’t know how to answer it, either. Then I read your very last sentence. Here are some ideas that you can try out:

1. Women tend to get intimidated with high status guys. If you are a hot and confident actor, she will really like you. And because of this, she will really play some hard-to-get, so she won’t look like a slut. This means that you need to game her with trust rather than with sexuality.

2. You need to game her. Sure, this isn’t ideal, especially since you said you don’t want girls to pick you. But, truthfully, every man has to play the system in meeting women. If you choose not to, or have no idea what the rules are, you will not succeed.

So, try to play some games with her. Laugh inside as she plays hard-to-get since you know she’s just being silly. Then, build up the trust with your tone and trust and everything else that I teach in my emails. You will be completely unstoppable by the end of it. 🙂

“I want to mention my main objective with women: closing. I live with my mom right now (I am 21) and I date girls who also live with their mom or dad – or both – so it’s difficult to find places to close.

I want to fix this problem, but I can only think of hotels – and those aren’t plausible solutions for me. I want to get more income to move out, but this is proving to be a problem because I need to concentrate on my studies first and don’t want things to interfere with that. I also have problems with sexual escalation in person or through text. Please help me. I would truly appreciate it.” – Donald B. from Germantown, MD

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

Yes, it sure is hard not knowing where to escalate things at. I had that problem before, too, so here’s what I have to say: Find a Place and Be Great. This means choosing a spot other than your room and trying to bring girls there. When I did my thing, I chose a cleaning van without windows – creepy shit. I made it work, though, so you shouldn’t have any trouble closing girls in cars or changing rooms or mall bathrooms, either – basically anywhere where you can be alone.

Your primary advantage would lie in making the sex exciting in an instant. This will also make escalating things much easier after getting her alone in there. Hope this helps. 🙂

“I have some frustrations and questions that I hope you can shed light on. I am 33 years old and quite inexperienced with the ladies, though I have dated a couple of girls. The thing is: I went back to college to finish my college degree and, being more mature, I get more attention than I did in the last decade. How should I handle haters – those guys who resent me because of my success? And how can I find and spot top quality girls who don’t just want to hook up and actually want the real me? Additionally, how can I have multiple relationships with such girls all at once? I basically want to make lost time up and see what it would be like to date several girls of top compliance. Thank you and your newsletters are awesome.” – Robert B. from Spokane, WA

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

For your first question: be a friend, not an enemy. Haters will always be haters. But if you turn them into friends, they can be a great help at meeting girls instead of a hindrance.

Secondly, hookups like you, too, and the only way a girl will like you is for the real you. Simply put: if she hooks up with you because you are rich, she will still rationalize this and say she likes the real you.

Basically, every woman out there is a top quality woman who likes the real you. The mere changes lie here:

A. Her fit with your personality that will make her top-notch.

B. How you perceive her love. The actual problem is the way you think women think. You believe the things that the majority of men believe – that hookups aren’t actual attractions. Well, that’s bullshit. If you have sex, that means you were attracted to one another.

To change your beliefs quickly, take a look at SeductionOnSteroids or let experience cure them. As for dating several girls at once, I’ll cover that later on.

“How come, whenever I meet a hot girl, I lose interest in her very quickly and the entire atmosphere suddenly gets boring – most of the time, anyway? We might have a good time for a few days, but then all of the joy and all of the emotions just disappear.” – Jim E. from Somerville, NJ

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

Hundreds of guys have this problem, but the majority of them don’t ask about it. The answer is very simple:

You have to have sex with these girls faster. That boredom that you feel is the feeling of becoming another friend as opposed to a lover. She feels it and you feel it. So, unless you boost the sexual tension between you – and fast – you’ll get bored in no time. The girls that aren’t boring are those that are truly into you. 😉

“I really hope you can help me with my problem. A few years back, I was great at attracting and meeting women. I lived in this apartment where new chicks would come and go. I was a waiter who dated all of the waitresses and customers, and I always had women around me – all day. My confidence was great and I was never scared to approach women. All of this changed when I moved to live with my cousin in a new state and worked with him. I eventually got a girlfriend and quit picking up other women. I had no idea that I would lose my skills by doing that. I’m single again now – no woman, back in the old city. I work from home and live with my little brother. I don’t see women until I go to the library or a store. And, when I do see one, I always think, “Go over there and do your thing.” But I don’t remember how to. I think I was just confident and now that trait is gone. I end up just standing there or smiling – nothing more. It’s strange because I can’t get the old me back – the guy who would pick up several girls every Friday night whenever he wanted to. My brother has no social skills, either, and I can see myself slowly turning into him. Sadly, all of the friends I have have no skills and are either losers or husbands. Derek, I need my mojo back!”– Alejandro W. from Pueblo, CO

Derek Rake’s Answer:-

In a nutshell: you didn’t lose it. Seriously. Are you any different from the old you? Does any recent life experience of yours suddenly make you unattractive to women? Did a bit of you just leave? No. You’re simply out of practice; that’s all. Fortunately, this is easy to fix. All you need is elbow grease and the power to laugh – at yourself.

Begin by talking to women you find attractive and trust that you will somehow remember the right thing to do. You might fail the first time. However, after several of these blow offs, you are sure to see results. You might even just laugh things off.

Walk up to a girl and say, “You look really sexy. I’m afraid I’m not very smooth, but I felt this sudden urge to approach you.” Make sure you smile and relax. I promise you will be alright. 🙂